Get ready to solve for laughter with these hilarious **math jokes**! From clever equations to amusing number puns, these jokes are perfect for math enthusiasts and humor lovers alike.

Whether you're a math whiz or just looking for a good chuckle, these lighthearted quips will add a fun twist to your day.

Get ready to calculate your way to smiles as you explore the world of math with these witty and entertaining jokes.

## Funny Math Jokes

**1.** Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You told me not to use tables.

**2.** MATH stands for Mental Abuse To Humans.

**3. **Here’s some advice: At a job

interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician. Comedian Adam Gropman

**4. **After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.” “But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer. “I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.” Submitted by Norie Bloom, Honolulu, Hawai

**5. **A scientist tells a pharmacist, “Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid.” “Do you mean aspirin?” asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. “That’s it!” he says. “I can never

remember the name.” Submitted by R. s., via mail

**6. **A farmer counted 196 cows in

the field. But when he rounded them up, he had 200.

**7. **The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are all derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.

But I guess the occasional statistics joke is an outlier. Submitted by Denis Everett, Coronado, California

**8. **In math: Two divided by nothing. In physics: The contraction of

the mouth due to the expansion

of the heart. In accounting: It’s a credit, because it is profitable when returned. In economics: A thing for which the demand is higher than the

supply. In dentistry: It’s infectious and

antiseptic. From gcfl.net

**9. **Hear about the statistician

who drowned crossing a river? It

was three feet deep on average.

**10.** I put my root beer in a square glass. Now it’s just beer.

**11.** With the Ark settled safely after the flood, Noah opens the doors and commands the animals, “Go forth and multiply!” All the animals depart the Ark, except for two snakes in the back. Noah proclaims again, “Go forth and multiply,” yet the snakes stay put.

Perturbed, Noah finally asks them, “Why have you not followed my command?” The snakes flicker their tongues and answer, “We can’t multiply, Noah—we’re Adders.”

**12.** A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting on a bench, watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street.

First, they see two people enter the house; A while later, they watch three people leave the house. The physicist says, “The initial measurement wasn’t accurate.

” The biologist counters, “They must have reproduced.” Finally, the mathematician suggests, “If one more person enters the house, then it will be empty again.”

**13.** An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are staying in a hotel. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trashcan from his room with water and douses the fire.

He goes back to bed. Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway.

He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed. Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke.

He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, “Ah, a solution exists!” and then goes back to bed.

**14.** Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar. The first says, “I’ll have a beer.” The second says, “I’ll have half a beer.”

The third says, “I’ll have a quarter of a beer.” Before anyone else can speak, the barman fills up exactly two glasses of beer and serves them.

“Come on, now,” he says to the group, “You guys have got to learn your limits.”

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**15.** Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.

**16.** Why should you not mix alcohol and calculus? Because you should never drink and derive.

**17.** Q: What do you call friends who love math?

A: algebras

**18. **Never trust math teachers who use graph paper. They’re always plotting something.

**19.** A friend took her son to the doctor’s office after he sprained his finger. The nurse applied a splint, only to be told she’d put it on the wrong finger.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “That’s OK,” my friend’s son said. “You were only off by one digit.”